{"id":40688,"date":"2025-03-03T06:25:15","date_gmt":"2025-03-03T06:25:15","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/isafespend.com\/?p=40688"},"modified":"2025-03-03T06:25:16","modified_gmt":"2025-03-03T06:25:16","slug":"why-financial-planning-is-more-personal-than-finance","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/isafespend.com\/?p=40688","title":{"rendered":"Why Financial Planning Is More Personal Than Finance"},"content":{"rendered":"<div>\n<p>My wife, Mika, and I took a survey this week about our approach to money. The survey asked us to respond to a number of statements by noting on a continuum whether we agreed or disagreed, ranging from -5 (\u201cI strongly disagree\u201d) to +5 (\u201cI strongly agree\u201d).<\/p>\n<p>For example, here is a sampling of the prompts:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>\u201cIf I work hard, I have the right to play hard.\u201d<\/li>\n<li>\u201cThe more money I have in savings, the more secure I feel.\u201d<\/li>\n<li>\u201cFinancial success or failure has a lot to do with luck.\u201d<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>There were 12 questions like that, and then things got really tough because the prompts were related to how we view money in light of our children, like:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>\u201cIt\u2019s important that my children have the same things and opportunities as their peers.\u201d<\/li>\n<li>\u201cOnce my children are old enough to earn their own money, they\u2019ll be expected to cover some of their expenses.\u201d<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>What did we learn?<\/p>\n<p>Well, we\u2019re a lot alike, but we\u2019re also different. But not just that. We\u2019re also likely different than we thought, meaning Mika didn\u2019t always respond the way I thought she should\u2014I mean, would\u2014and vice versa. But perhaps even more interestingly, I didn\u2019t always respond the way I thought <em>I<\/em> would!<\/p>\n<p>This is due to a phenomenon known as <em>intersectionality<\/em>. Say that 5 times really fast.<\/p>\n<p>Intersectionality is a recognition of the complex, overlapping influences that shape our individual life experiences and, therefore, our worldviews.<\/p>\n<p>For example, I am a white male who grew up in a nuclear family with a father who was an electrical engineer, a stay-at-home mom, and two younger brothers. Mika is a black woman who grew up in a single-parent household, where her mom worked more than full-time to provide for her and her one older brother.<\/p>\n<p>Both sets of parents worked really hard to instill the core values of faith, family, hard work, and frugality. Today, I am a financial advisor, and Mika owns a healthy meal prep and catering company.<\/p>\n<p>So, how would you expect us to respond to the prompt, \u201cFinancial success and failure has a lot to do with luck\u201d?<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019ll tell you in a minute, but first\u2014what\u2019s the point? In this case, there are four.<\/p>\n<h2>1. Personal finance is more personal than finance.<\/h2>\n<p>Maybe you\u2019ve already heard this one, but how we do what we do with money goes far beyond the spreadsheet. Sure, who we are when we\u2019re born probably has something to do with it, but how we were raised\u2014and what we\u2019ve experienced, especially in the first 10 years of life\u2014is likely the most potent driver of how we respond to various stimuli.<\/p>\n<p>Certified Financial Therapist Rick Kahler taught me a concept that he and his collaborators, Dr. Ted Klontz and Dr. Brad Klontz, refer to as \u201cmoney scripts.\u201d The latter defines them as the \u201ctypically unconscious, trans-generational beliefs about money that are developed in childhood and drive adult financial behaviors.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>For example, how you respond to a homeless person asking you for money is driven by a money script\u2014that may or may not have words attached to it\u2014that might say, \u201cNah, they\u2019re just going to spend it on booze or drugs\u201d or \u201cI must give to those in need\u201d or \u201cLook at him in the eyes to be sure he\u2019s seen as a person.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>These responses are neither right nor wrong; they just are. And, it is through recognizing them that we can question whether or not our gut feelings are consistent with our beliefs and values\u2014and yes, we can change our money scripts if and when discovered and desired.<\/p>\n<p>Simply put, just as no two people experience life the same way, no two people experience money the same way. Life experiences\u2014family background, education, health, privilege, hardship\u2014create deeply personal financial perspectives.<\/p>\n<h2>2. Money means different things to different people.<\/h2>\n<p>Not all net worths are equal. I have a good friend who has been very successful financially, for example, and he\u2019s not afraid to show it. His house is big, his car is a head-turner, and his watch collection costs more than four years at an Ivy League university.<\/p>\n<p>Another friend has even more money, and you\u2019d never know it. In fact, she almost seems to bristle at visual displays of wealth. And by the way, both of these people grew up in similar circumstances, and both have been good investors. I would also label both of them as generous. But it\u2019s those labels that can get us in trouble, too.<\/p>\n<h2>3. Financial labels are unhelpful oversimplifications.<\/h2>\n<p>Rich, wealthy, poor, new money, old money, stingy, spendthrift, aggressive, conservative, spender, saver. While labels may allow us to size someone up quickly, they\u2019re almost always unhelpful oversimplifications.<\/p>\n<p>For example, a very close friend was the first of his lineal descendants to go to college, and he paid his own way. He graduated with a degree in electrical engineering and absolutely fits the stereotype of hyper-frugality and detail orientation for which his occupational peers are known. But he also gives about 5 times more to charity than the average American as a percentage of income. He\u2019s, uh, un-label-able.<\/p>\n<h2>4. A great financial plan reflects our complete story\/stories.<\/h2>\n<p>Good financial planning may help you save a pile of money and spend it down before running out, but great financial planning gets to know us more and genuinely reflects who we are and what\u2019s most important to us.<\/p>\n<p>Good financial planning must address (at least) investments, insurance, tax, estate, and retirement planning, but great financial planning is translated through the language of life and infused with purpose through a more human model that helps us connect our assets to our aspirations.<\/p>\n<p>All this considered, how do you think my wife and I responded to the prompt, \u201cFinancial success and failure has a lot to do with luck\u201d?<\/p>\n<p>Mika, the boot-strapped entrepreneur, scored it a negative three, with negative five representing \u201cstrongly disagree.\u201d And I, the experienced financial advisor who has observed hundreds of one-percenters for more than 25 years, scored it a positive two. Yep, I\u2019ve seen a lot of very successful people, and while I have marveled at their hard work and ingenuity, I\u2019ve still seen good timing and serendipity play a major role in their success. But I love the fact that my wife isn\u2019t counting on luck, and I hope our kids get that message, too.<\/p>\n<p>And that\u2019s the real takeaway\u2014financial planning isn\u2019t about scoring the &#8220;right&#8221; answer. It\u2019s about understanding the story behind the score.<\/p>\n<p>Because behind every financial belief is a lifetime of experiences that shape how we see money, risk, security, and success\u2014how we think about growing, protecting, giving, and living. And when we take the time to unpack those stories\u2014especially with the people we share our lives with\u2014we gain not just financial clarity, but a deeper understanding of each other.<\/p>\n<p>So, what\u2019s your story? And how does it shape the way you see money?<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p>Read the full article <a href=\"https:\/\/www.forbes.com\/sites\/timmaurer\/2025\/03\/02\/intersectionality-and-money-why-financial-planning-is-more-personal-than-finance\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\" rel=\"nofollow\">here<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>My wife, Mika, and I took a survey this week about our approach to money. The survey asked us to respond to a number of statements by noting on a continuum whether we agreed or disagreed, ranging from -5 (\u201cI strongly disagree\u201d) to +5 (\u201cI strongly agree\u201d). For example, here is a sampling of the<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":40689,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[55],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-40688","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-retirement"},"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v20.12 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Why Financial Planning Is More Personal Than Finance | iSafeSpend<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"My wife, Mika, and I took a survey this week about our approach to money. 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