{"id":42266,"date":"2025-05-13T08:50:04","date_gmt":"2025-05-13T08:50:04","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/isafespend.com\/?p=42266"},"modified":"2025-05-13T08:50:05","modified_gmt":"2025-05-13T08:50:05","slug":"the-mistakes-we-dont-know-were-making","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/isafespend.com\/?p=42266","title":{"rendered":"The Mistakes We Don\u2019t Know We\u2019re Making"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n

I think I\u2019m reasonably self aware, so it came as a surprise when my wife, Mika, recently told me that I needed to work on my grocery store etiquette. Who knew there even was such a thing? I\u2019m just trying to hunt and gather and get outta there.<\/p>\n

Yet, after Mika explained it to me, it made perfect sense. There\u2019s a flow to the grocery store, and my myopic fixation on the handful of items I was commissioned to collect occasionally resulted in an interruption to that flow, or worse yet, a reversal to it.<\/p>\n

And while habits ingrained over decades can be tough to reroute, I think it\u2019s safe to say that I\u2019m reformed\u2014or, at least, reforming. If nothing else, I\u2019m a willing student. Thanks to the awareness, I\u2019m less of a hazard to other shoppers, and when I err, I\u2019m starting to catch myself.<\/p>\n

You see, the thing about blind spots is that we can\u2019t see them.<\/p>\n

That\u2019s what makes them so tricky\u2014and often costly, especially when dealing with money.<\/p>\n

What\u2019s Your Financial Blind Spot?<\/h2>\n

For example, maybe your blind spot is overconfidence<\/strong>, a blind spot especially common in men that is pretty well explained in our general unwillingness to ask for directions (when that was a thing).<\/p>\n

Or perhaps you\u2019re an emotional spender<\/strong>. Whether to celebrate, soothe, or escape, it doesn\u2019t take much to act on the three most dangerous words in cash flow management: \u201cI deserve it.\u201d<\/p>\n

A particularly interesting blind spot is avoidance<\/strong>\u2014ignoring the evidence of financial mismanagement (like not<\/em> reading scary credit card statements) or being unwilling to have a hard money conversation with a spouse, partner, parent, or child.<\/p>\n

Undervaluing time<\/strong> is an interesting blind spot, the domain of the die-hard do-it-yourselfer. Is it really worth an entire Saturday to save a couple bucks?<\/p>\n

Chronic comparison<\/strong> is an endemic blind spot that has practically become a collective concern thanks to social media. It has a close cousin in image-driven spending, too, when we prioritize others\u2019 opinions of our purchases over our own financial well-being.<\/p>\n

False frugality<\/strong> is an interesting blind spot, when we get stuck on micromanaging ourselves\u2014or more harmfully, others\u2014by fixating on smaller pet purchases than the bigger-ticket items (like mortgages, car payments, outdated estate plans, club dues, and other stacked subscriptions) that have more of an impact.<\/p>\n

One of the most common blind spots\u2014rooted in our psyche for millennia\u2014is the short-term bias<\/strong>, explained by the phenomenon of hyperbolic discounting, suggesting that we have a very strong preference for that which could enhance our survival today over deferring for an unknown future.<\/p>\n

Meanwhile, over-saving and under-living<\/strong> gets a lot less attention than its inverse, but it\u2019s an especially common and damaging blind spot for many who have, at some point in their lives, experienced serious financial hardship.<\/p>\n

But here\u2019s the problem: We don\u2019t know what we don\u2019t know, so how do we spot blind spots we can\u2019t see?<\/p>\n

5 Ways To See Our Blind Spots<\/h2>\n

1. Ask someone you trust.<\/strong> Your spouse, a trusted friend, a parent or mentor, your financial advisor\u2014someone who isn\u2019t afraid to speak the truth in kindness, not as a critique, but as a mirror. This is a good place to start in revealing financial blind spots.<\/p>\n

2. Review your transactions.<\/strong> We used to say, \u201cShow me your checkbook, and I\u2019ll tell you what\u2019s important to you,\u201d but this is a much easier task today with the advent of online banking and budgeting tools that will auto-categorize all of your transactions. I\u2019ll warn you that can be a starkly illuminating exercise, but by removing judgement and approaching it with curiosity, it becomes a revealing reflection.<\/p>\n

3. Pay attention to tension.<\/strong> Our blind spots may live in patterns that we feel that haven\u2019t been named yet, so where do you notice financial friction? That may just be rooted in a blind spot. And for bonus points, what bothers you in others? Eckhart Tolle said, \u201cAnything that you resent and strongly react to in another is also in you,\u201d so, as hard as it is to admit it, acknowledging what annoys us in others often reveals our own blind spots.<\/p>\n

4. Tell your personal money story.<\/strong> My wife and I recently did this live and on camera\u2014and good news: Our marriage survived it. In fact, we learned things about the other that we never knew, and it led to insights that are as practical as they are interesting. But you don\u2019t need anyone else to engage in an exercise of self-discovery. Start by answering the question, ideally in writing, \u201cWhat is your first money memory?\u201d Then, proceed to walk through each of the major financial memories that shaped your youth and young adulthood. What you\u2019ll often find is that your financial strengths and weaknesses today are directly tied to this story.<\/p>\n

5. Reflect without should-ing or shaming.<\/strong> We have a tendency to should all over ourselves (and others). But turning this exercise into a shame fest, we risk missing the point and the opportunity. In fact, if the identification of your financial blind spots leads to self-flagellation, it could well backfire on you. If you\u2019ve made financial mistakes, I have good news for you: So has everyone else. This is because money management is as much an exercise in mistake management as anything else.<\/p>\n

What I hope you\u2019ll find, instead, is that by making the unconscious or subconscious conscious, now you\u2019re empowered to do something about it. Financial planning is powerless to remedy an unknown illness. And if much has been revealed as you\u2019ve walked through this exercise, my encouragement would be to document all of it and work on just one blind spot at a time.<\/p>\n

While we may never eliminate all our blind spots, we can shrink them\u2014with intention, reflection, and a little help from the ones walking the aisles of life with us.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

Read the full article here<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I think I\u2019m reasonably self aware, so it came as a surprise when my wife, Mika, recently told me that I needed to work on my grocery store etiquette. Who knew there even was such a thing? I\u2019m just trying to hunt and gather and get outta there. Yet, after Mika explained it to me,<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":42267,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[55],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-42266","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-retirement"},"yoast_head":"\nThe Mistakes We Don\u2019t Know We\u2019re Making | iSafeSpend<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"I think I\u2019m reasonably self aware, so it came as a surprise when my wife, Mika, recently told me that I needed to work on my grocery store etiquette. 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